• About
    • Hi, I’m Jen!
    • Disclosure
    • Privacy Policy
    • Contact
  • Start Here
  • Courses
    • FREE Principled Christmas Gift-Giving Mini Course
    • About the “Media That Matters” Course
    • Signature Caramel Apple Dashboard
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest

Raise The Good

  • Home
  • Resources By Age
    • Children
    • Teens
    • Adults
  • Media Type
    • Audio
    • Books
    • Movies
    • TV/Video Clips
  • Topics
    • Character Traits
    • Education
    • Faith
    • Intentional Living
    • Parenting
    • Adulting
    • Holidays and Special Occasions
    • Hero Spotlight
  • Favorite Things
  • Shop
    • Cart
  • Free Printables

February 9, 2017 · Leave a Comment

Coming of Age Celebration: Part 3

Holidays and Special Occasions· Intentional Living· Parenting· Teens

Want to see what a Coming of Age looks like in real-time? Well, here it is!

rock climbing at a coming of age

We celebrated my son Gideon’s Coming of Age last weekend. And guys, can I just say again, how much we LOVE these?! It was a huge success, but it was a little different than others we’ve done before, so I wanted to share what worked for us and what we didn’t like as much. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, be sure to read this post, first!)

preparing for the Coming of Age Celebration

First, we sent out the invitation out about 3 weeks before. I wish we would have given people a little more notice, though. I made this invitation up on Canva.com. They let you design it for free and then I just printed it out inexpensively as a picture at a local store. I am please with how it turned out. (The white parts were personal info. I blocked out.)

Additionally, we sent a letter that explained why we did this Coming of Age ritual in our family and why we felt it was important. We also explained the agenda of the day, what to expect and what the weather would be like. If people were traveling from far away, we also included what arrangements we had made for lodging.

invitation
quote
Via

My son LOVES rock climbing, and since that has so many symbolic lessons that you can go with, we decided that would be his theme. I felt that this quote really summed up what I wanted for him:  

For Christmas this year, we decided to get outdoor “toys” to help us be more active. So thankfully, between that and what other family members had, we had plenty of fun stuff for the guys to do. There is also a great rock wall with a lot of open space around it, about 15 minutes from our house, so that seemed like the perfect venue. We planned a full day of rock climbing, rappelling, paintball, and other fun stuff.

rock climing

Lesson learned #1: Being close by may or may not be a good idea. For my older son, the guys went an hour and a half away. That had it’s own pros and cons. But everyone stayed there the entire time. This time, being so close, those who lived nearby tended to come and go as they needed to- which we totally understood, but it also detracted from the bonding and ambiance we wanted to create.

Also, Gideon has a few cousins his age, which is awesome! We love that they are so close to each other. When uncles who lived far away and were planning on coming asked if they could bring their sons, we of course said “yes”.

Lesson Learned #2: This is a “how-to-become-a-man” event. When the cousins got together, it was a different experience than when it was just my older son with all of the adults. They got silly sometimes and it detracted from the bonding time with the other men. Some of them are also a bit younger than my son, so they did not really appreciate the ceremony that night. So in the end, my husband was not a fan of having the cousins there for this reason, even though he dearly loves them and enjoys them in other situations. Gideon on the other hand, LOVED having them there. So I think it just depends on what your goal is for the event.

Food
We planned awesome food and a ton of snacks. This time, we again asked our good friend Norman (who is also Gideon’s scout master) to take care of all the food. He is a fantastic outdoor cook and it really took a load off of my husband as he tried to be a good host. DO THIS!

Pictures
I love pictures of these events- especially since I don’t attend! I want to see what it was like! For my older son, my husband forgot, and didn’t take very many pictures. And then his phone deleted them.

Yes. Yes, it did.

I felt so bad for my son, and I felt cheated. This time, I reminded my husband A. LOT. to take pictures. He did his best, but…

Lesson Learned: Ask someone in the party to be the official photographer–or ask everyone! My husband was so busy running everything that he did the best he could, but afterwards I wish we had better shots and more of them.

Lastly, at the end of the day, the guys started a bonfire. They ate dinner and then when it was dark, they gave their best advice about how to be a good and true man, and read letters from those who could not make it. (I made a binder in advance with letters, great quotes and other good stuff in it.) When we asked Gideon what his favorite part of the day was, he said that this was it. Such amazing advice and love!

Lesson learned: We asked EVERYONE to write a letter whether they were planning on attending or not, so that Gideon could read and take advantage of their advice years from now and not have to rely on memory. We must not have communicated this very well, because few of the attending men did this. I just feel sad that their wonderful words may be lost to memory. Communicate this to your loved ones better than I did!

My husband and I decided to give a symbolic and practical gift. We decided to have my husband present Gideon with a Grigri. It is a rock climbing device that will not only keep him safe, but it also has a spiritual parallel that we shared with him.

While the guys were all partying it up, the women and cousins hung out at my sister-in-law’s mini-ranch. I actually had another event I had to be at with my daughter (it got rescheduled for the same day, which was a HUGE pain), so you can bet I’m taking my sister-in-law to go get a pedicure. I owe her big time! They rode horses, played, ate pizza and watched movies. It was awesome. If entire families are planning on coming, I would definitely have a plan for those who won’t be attending the actual event.

Afterward
At the end, when it was all over, we gave “Thank You” goodie bags to all the men who participated in any way. We filled it with goodies, a carabiner, the quote that was our theme, and an uplifting movie about mountain climbing.

When I asked Gideon what he thought of it, he said, “I thought it was awesome. Especially with all of my uncles and cousins. I learned a lot about becoming a man, but that’s not all. It’s also about family. I loved the ending ceremony. My grandpa said, ‘We’ve all grown up like you are doing, but we have a lot of different perspectives and that is going to be your biggest benefit.’ It’s really true, because they all gave such different and unique advice, it’s awesome. And I’m really glad I can go through my binder because it’s just awesome.”

Having great role models for our children is SUCH a blessing. Whether they are family or not, these relationships will be a huge benefit to our children for the rest of their lives. We are so very grateful for them, the lives that they model and the effort they take to help our children.

coming of age guidebook

**If you’d like a step-by-step guide to help you create an amazing, personalized experience like this for YOUR child, check out The Coming of Age Celebration Guidebook. The feedback I’ve gotten from it has been amazing: 

“This was the best day of my life…The collective beauty and wisdom were just so overwhelming. Our young people are worth so much and I just hope they know it. Thanks to everyone who helped, who wrote letters, who came, and those who couldn’t make it, you were missed. Thanks so much for the priceless idea, you’ve made a difference!”   -Emilie N.

“Jen…this is amazing. Just got the Coming of Age book- this is really fantastic. Side note- you should be charging WAY more for this…so so so impressed. Seriously so grateful for this.”  -Danielle T.

Learn more here.

Don’t miss out!

Related Posts

3 girls, coming of age
Coming of Age Celebrations: Part 1
coming of age
Coming of Age Celebrations: Part 2
woman and child
What Can I Do About Racism?

Previous Post: « Coming of Age Celebrations: Part 1
Next Post: 20 FAQs about our Family Economy »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Welcome

Hi! I'm Jen. Wife, mom of 5, and someone who is deliberately trying to shape the family culture in our home by focusing on uplifting and inspiring media and other resources. If you are looking for an alternative to negative pop culture- you're in the right place!

SIGN UP FOR MY FREE QUICK START COURSE: MEDIA THAT MATTERS!

Deliberately Using Books and Movies to Inspire Your Family

Shop My Favorites for Kids:

Find All MY Recommendations At Amazon Here!

Raise The Good Store

Let’s Connect

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Footer

Related Posts

A Way to Understand Movie Ratings
4 Reasons Why Family Discussions Are Important
girl reading
A Reading System That Works
Lopez Lomong, gratitude, grit
Gratitude and Grit: from Sudan to the Olympics Games.
courageous movie
“Courageous”: Movie Review

In the last month, I have spoken with three teenag In the last month, I have spoken with three teenagers, boys and girls both, (not these girls, but I love them and I love this picture!) who have graduated/will graduate and have absolutely no idea what they will do next. That can be pretty common- it’s hard to decide! But here’s the kicker- their parents haven’t talked to them about it AT ALL. There are lots of reasons for that, but the teens I’ve spoken with feel overwhelmed and abandoned, even a bit hopeless.
.
Parents, our teens NEED us- even if they don’t act like it. Even if we don’t have any answers. Please talk to your teens about their future plans. Ask them questions, research ideas with them that they come up with, help them form a plan that they are excited about. Whether it is trade school, college, volunteer or church service, or going straight into the workforce, please let them know that they aren’t alone. Help them form a plan that will kickstart them into adulthood and serve them in the years to come. Be a safety net that helps propel them into success. They will feel your love. ***Edited to add: If you want to help your child, but don’t know where to start, check out Heather @alignedambition ! This is her specialty and she’s amazing!!
.
(If you are interested in learning more about how you can do a more formal Coming of Age with your teens, check out my Coming of Age Guidebook in my shop!) #parentsofteens #highschoolsenior #comingofage #planningforthefuture #loveyourkids #bepresent
Have a happy Sunday! This was a good reminder for Have a happy Sunday! This was a good reminder for me today.
.
I am working on offering free printables. I love to hang quotes like this in my home, and wondered if you might, too. You will be able to find this one at the link in bio, then click “printables” in the menu. #quotes #sunday #worship @churchofjesuschrist
My third gourmet caramel apple class is finished! My third gourmet caramel apple class is finished! It was SO FUN to meet all the women and kids who signed up. It makes me so happy to teach this! Anyone can make these- you just have to know the right tips and tricks. 😋  #mycaramelapples #digitalcourse #delicious #beautiful #caramelapples
New blog post: “7 Ways I Am Trying To Heal Polit New blog post: “7 Ways I Am Trying To Heal Political Division”. It took me much longer to write this post than it should have. I wanted to get the wording just right, didn’t want to come off as self-righteous, and had so many other concerns. But I think national unity won’t come until we have individual unity with our families and friends. This is my attempt. (Link in bio.) I know you are concerned about this as well. What has worked for you? #unity #politics #democrats #republicans #family #fighting #peacemaker
As we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr., and the pr As we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr., and the progress of the Civil Rights movement, I’m challenging myself to read more of his words completely and in context, rather than the short, inspiring quotes we often see. Letters, books, speeches, laws of the time, economic and political pressures, family concerns, etc. all help us have a more complete understanding of his life’s work.
.
Learning more than just bullet point history- about all leaders- is what REALLY helps us learn from the past and make progress today. This is true education. Have a great day everyone! #mlkday #civilrights #history #education
I’m a natural peacemaker. I also minored in poli I’m a natural peacemaker. I also minored in political science and am passionate about American history and government. That means that I have a ton of opinions just like everyone else about the current events in America right now. 😜
.
I am really, really sad seeing us so divided and angry with each other- including myself in my own relationships. I listened to a podcast that my brother sent me (Hi, Ben! I still need to talk to you about this!), and I realized that the two sides are (many times) completely out of touch with each other. We don’t understand each other. Oh, we get the sound bites and the bullet points, but mostly we try to shout each other down.
.
Stephen Covey had it right- let’s try to understand—REALLY understand each other— BEFORE we start trying to explain ourselves. This doesn’t mean that we are doormats, it actually gives us power when we understand each other. I think this is good for marriages, parenting, work conflicts...and politics. Let’s practice listening.
.
Love you guys. ❤️ #stephencovey #politics #listentounderstand #loveoneanother #peacemakers #notadoormat
Let’s be honest: the last few days have been ROU Let’s be honest: the last few days have been ROUGH! I’m starting my last digital Signature Gourmet Caramel Apple class this week, and I want to give away 6 spots to brighten your day! (To learn more about the course, click in the link in my bio.)
.
Tag one person you are grateful for, and I’ll randomly pick 3 winners—you AND the person you tagged will each get a free course (you’ll be responsible for getting your own ingredients, though.) Plus the rest of your immediate family can do it with you- kids LOVE it! 
.
This ends tonight at 5pm PST. Hurry and enter! #giveaway #delicious #caramelapples #happy
Expect to randomly find hard boiled eggs mixed int Expect to randomly find hard boiled eggs mixed into your egg carton. They think it’s HILARIOUS! 😂 #boymom #teenboys #jokes
I saw this on a friend’s feed and thought it was I saw this on a friend’s feed and thought it was powerful:
.
“I would have pulled Joseph out. Out of that pit. Out of that prison. Out of that pain. And I would have cheated nations out of the one God would use to deliver them from famine.

I would have pulled David out. Out of Saul’s spear-throwing presence. Out of the caves he hid away in. Out of the pain of rejection. And I would have cheated Israel out of a God-hearted king.

I would have pulled Esther out. Out of being snatched from her only family. Out of being placed in a position she never asked for. Out of the path of a vicious, power-hungry foe. And I would have cheated a people out of the woman God would use to save their very lives.

And I would have pulled Jesus off. Off of the cross. Off of the road that led to suffering and pain. Off of the path that would mean nakedness and beatings, nails and thorns. And I would have cheated the entire world out of a Savior. Out of salvation. Out of an eternity filled with no more suffering and no more pain.

And oh friend. I want to pull you out. I want to change your path. I want to stop your pain. But right now I know I would be wrong. I would be out of line. I would be cheating you and cheating the world out of so much good. Because God knows. He knows the good this pain will produce. He knows the beauty this hard will grow. He’s watching over you and keeping you even in the midst of this. And He’s promising you that you can trust Him. Even when it all feels like more than you can bear.

So instead of trying to pull you out, I’m lifting you up. I’m kneeling before the Father and I’m asking Him to give you strength. To give you hope. I’m asking Him to protect you and to move you when the time is right. I'm asking Him to help you stay prayerful and discerning. I'm asking Him how I can best love you and be a help to you. And I’m believing He’s going to use your life in powerful and beautiful ways. Ways that will leave your heart grateful and humbly thankful for this road you’ve been on.”

 - Kimberly D. Henderson

Copyright © 2021 · captivating theme by Restored 316